A to Z: A Tratie Insight
by join-me-hw-haters
Summary: This series of oneshots was brought to you be the sudden urge to write Tratie. You're welcome. R&R please. Good grammar/spelling guaranteed
1. Chapter 1

**ABC Tratie**

**(New story starting=addiction) (Read and Review)**

**A is for Ammunition.**

"Spontaneity is the key to pranking," Travis had repeatedly drilled her on this one line. The Stolls and Julius Caesar would have been best friends-Veni, Vidi, Vici. But Katie had consistently found that however well that might have worked out for her partners in crime, she needed a plan in order to work well. It was how she operated.

The Stolls had taught her one valuable life lesson in their time together-there is nothing a well-executed prank cannot solve. Every problem she had, she had battled with pranks. The death of her favorite half-sister. KP duty on Friday night. Her dad's unemployment.  
And now, her breakup with Travis.  
It may have been betrayal. Katie wasn't familiar with the rules. She wasn't the type to obey a handbook-and Travis and Connor weren't the type to hand them out. So there was probably no written rule against pranking a Hermes counselor.  
Even pharmacists need to take their own medicine sometimes...right?  
So Katie brought the cavalry, and she brought the Navy, and the Air Force, and the SEALs too, just for extra credit. The only person in the camp who wasn't in on her re-prank was Chiron, and he didn't count as much because he was only half-human, although she wasn't so sure about that since everyone else in camp wasn't exactly human either. But everyone knew, and everyone shut their lips near the Hermes kids.  
The first act of war was outside, when the camp was eating. They were having curry rice, eggs, and lamb kebabs, and it all started when Katie's loyal brother Donny (a skilled whistler) stuck his fingers on his tongue and squealed out a wolf whistle. Immediately, the Demeter table burst into action, flinging salt and pepper shakers, silverware, and meat skewers at the unfortunate Hermes cabin. The other cabins quickly followed suit, and the Hermes kids attempted to retaliate, but they soon lost hope and hid themselves under their tablecloths. The other cabins continued to pelt them with spoon-catapults of curry sauce until Connor's hand chivalrously rose above the rubble, flapping a white tissue with all of his might.  
The snot on it did nothing to detract from the glory of it.  
They had surrendered. But Katie still wasn't done.  
She wasn't over Travis yet.


	2. Chapter 2

**B is for Bargain Banter**

**A/N: Hello, whoever's reading this, and welcome to the second oneshot of ABC Tratie. Read on, and please review.**

"Gardner."

"Stoll."

"What are you doing here, and where is your slightly less pathetic little brother?"

"Was that an attempt at humor? Because, you know, my slightly pathetic-ier brother is funnier than that. Not amusing at all. "

"Like you're one to talk. No one thinks you're funny, they just want to get more of your cheap convenience store snacks."

"You must be confused. I am funny. I make people happy with my beautiful puns. YOU are not funny, and YOU make people...barf in their mouths."

"Your excuses are ridiculously immature. I don't see how you're semi-godly at all."

"They're not excuses, and they're better than yours, at any rate."

"Ridiculous...We digress. Answer my questions."

"What questions?"

"Har. Har. Har."

"I take it that you are the exception to my 'everyone thinks I'm funny' rule?"

"Travis, no one's obeying your rules. Didn't you hear me?"

"I'll just get my far more pathetic brother to enforce them."

"Far less. Now answer me."

"I am here to buy something, because that is what most sane people do at flea markets. My brother is buying something, because he is sane, although I am saner. And measurably awesomer."

"So modest."

"So I hear. Now excuse me. I have things to buy."

"Sure. No one is stopping you."

"Erm...Katie...why are you following me?"

"What? I came here to buy, too. Ugh, you're so self centered...stop smirking, Travis."

"I meant to the exact same stall as me at the exact same time.

"I wanted a...rock, too...this is...very...solid..."

"First rule-if you want to lie to me, lie skillfully."

"And if I don't?

"If you don't, I will gather a crack squad of highly trained professional fruit-stompers to march down to your fields, armed with machetes and those ginormous balls they hurl in the Olympics, and chop down all of your strawberries, then burn your very flammable wooden cabin down, dig a pit there, then bury the remains of your toils...in the pit. Then we will proceed to track d-"

"AHHHH!"

"Am I that scary...why, of course I am."

"Not that-are you so rat-brained that you can't see the VENDORS turning into...into..."

"I believe the term you are looking for is Kobaloi."

"Gods, speed up!"

"They're-goblins-that-eat-bad-kids!"

"Oh, okay."

"Why are you stopping?"

"They'll just target you, right?"

"Katie, they judge their victims by scent, and you probably smell like me. I suggest you run."

* * *

"That...that was fun."

"TRAVIS. We narrowly avoided being swallowed by minuscule morphing market vendors. That was not FUN."

"Not narrowly."

"What?"

"Didn't you notice they weren't following us? They're lazy monsters...oh-my-gods-Katie-my neck!"

"TRAVIS!"

"please-stop-choking-me...That's better."

"You know, you may be right."

"Huh?"

**"That WAS kinda...OH MY GODS WHERE'S CONNOR?"**


End file.
